Sunday, August 12, 2012
Max Brenner: The Babe has a hissy fit
It seemed like a good idea. A restaurant that looks like a high end chocolate factory on Boylston street with chic sidewalk seating and a menu with choices like Truffle Cream French Toast. It seemed like a REALLY good idea, in fact, as I asked my friend if we could go there for brunch. After all, a restaurant that has a chocolate shop inside it can't be bad, right?
We were summarily, entirely, incontrovertably fleeced by Max Brenner. And I feel free to say this with such vigor because I've rarely had so crappy a meal for $14.95 as I did there. It's WRONG to advertise "Illegal Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Pancakes" with dark chocolate truffle cream, pure milk chocolate shavings, spiced pecans, and caramelized bananas....and then bring them a wreck of mediocre, over-sweetened goo that looks like Mr. Hershey vomitted on the plate.
For $15, I expect pancakes that sing a song, chocolate sauce that does the rumba, and toffee bananas that make me want to cry. This was a floppy mess with chocolate that did NOT taste a thing like the lovely confections that they sell in their chocolate store. This tasted like someone slid some funky bananas and some ovaltine into a beaker and mixed it up. Hershey's syrup would've been a mercy compared to this ooze. And the toffee bananas? Friends, there are many delights in this world that involve bananas quickly caramelized in butter and cream, but that's not what you'll get here. What I got were waterlogged banana chunks that looked and tasted like they'd been beaten with a mallet and left out on the counter for a few days.
Should I be more lenient? Should I forgive and try Max Brenner's again? I say, no. If you mess up something as good and easy as pancakes, what hope is there that the other items on the menu are going to come out any better? If only there was an IHOP in downtown Boston, I could've feasted like a queen for $6 and called it a day.
So let me end classily by saying that if you insist on entering this restaurant, may I recommend swerving to the left and sticking to their chocolate shop?